Note: This is part 2 – If you haven’t read part one please DO because that one is golden.
I know everyone would like an update since I’ve gone Rogue. I’ve been trying to limit technology, so I will try and be quick.
Here is a video of the treehouse im staying in: https://www.facebook.com/melaniebelley2/videos/10158363645845494/?t=3
Utter and absolutely overwhelm as I woke up to see the jungle for the first time in my entire life. It had been night time when I arrived here so I didn’t get to see much. There aren’t any words to describe the beauty. The entire day proved over and over again, that Hawaii is without a doubt, a portal. A portal to heaven. There is no place or thing that could ever be feel or look as beautiful to me. This place is very powerful. It is a force that pulls you in. It is a place that cannot be described with words, but can only be felt from the heart. It is transformative. It’s astounding to be aligned with the energy of this place and the feeling like you are coming home to your tribe. It’s like you’ve been an alien your whole life and there were other aliens out there too this entire time, just waiting in this space, accumulating since 1970 and each year growing to date. However, If you are not the hippy/rustic/wanna get down with nature type though, this place definitely isn’t for you.
On my way to breakfast (which is sounded by a conch) I had the crap scared out of me by something round and black. I thought it was a bear rustling in the bushes (typical Canadian) but there are no bears here. To my surprise it was a wild boar with its baby. They are friendly here because they know everyone is Vegan here at the property and would never harm them. I had several more of these encounters throughout the day, not one which startled me any less. That will take a while to get used to. I also met some wild kitties along the way and a ton of mongoose. Mongoose are like a squirell/gopher and super cute but destructive apparently. One of the volunteers has a pet mongoose that she found paralyzed 4 years ago. She took him home and cared for him ever since. Its pretty incredible to see a wild animal be so trusting of a human as it had no other choice but to be vulnerable to a human since it could not walk but only could crawl. He loves to be petted and get his belly scratched but he is not fond of men. It is illegal to have a pet mongoose or to even to have a vet treat a pet mongoose as they are so overpopulated. And Ill have to say, I am having a hard time adapting to the 5-10 Gecko’s in my bedroom. I didn’t ask to have roomates. Especially not that type. This is another thing I will need to get over…but they are sloly growing on me. I just pray to the gods before bed “please don’t let them crawl on me while I sleep.” AH.
I had a Lomi Lomi Hawaiian massage today. I don’t really know what exactly happened in there but I know it changed my life forever. Something sacred inside of me opened up wide. I am going to get certified and provide these healing Hawaiian massages myself (so come see me). Anyways, immediately made my first friend at breakfast and we had a good chat for several hours. Then again several others throughout the day. Every time a conversation or event ended, a new one intercepted. It was connection after connection. Making new friends, and having more deep and meaningful conversations with beautiful souls. The conversations that I have had today have been eye opening and life changing on a personal level. The right person seems to come at the right time with the right message as I completely analyze the course of my life.
I also got to have some mind blowing stories of how people got here. Everyones story is so unique and inspiring. Many of these people have done the same thing that I have done. Most have gone even 10 steps bigger than I. Majority of these people came here 5-25 years ago as a guest and ended up staying and volunteering and never returning home. Some of the others have been travelling around the world for years at all time gaining wisdom, experience and spiritual insight.
This morning I woke up in my tree house at 6:30 am and it was a lot cooler than it had been when I went to sleep. It rained last night and so the rain came through my screen walls a little and dampened the floor. I put on my bathing suit and dress and made my way to the breakfast hut. I had peaches and cream oats, papaya and scrambled eggs and toast. I had breakfast with a lovely girl named Marian, who is from British Columbia. We chatted for quite some time and then Franny (a lovely volunteer) offered to take me to town to explore. We were to take Julia (another sweet volunteer) to the hospital first as she broke her arm in a freak kitchen accident trying to break someone’s fall. The poor thing. After we dropped her off, Franny took me to target for a hat and Safeway for some sandwiches and a 6 pack of beer of Hawaiian beer. Yes, you heard me right, they have liquor at Safeway. Unusual but convenient. I’m not much of a drinker, but Big Wave stole my heart with its refreshing notes of passion fruit. From there she took me to the waterfalls which was absolutely stunning. It is mesmerizing how there is so much beauty in the world that I haven’t even scratched the surface of. From the falls we made our way to Carl Smith Beach. Which is now without a shadow of a doubt, my favorite place on this entire planet.
The universe really outdid itself today. This morning when I woke up, I pre-thanked it for providing me with a beautiful day filled with Magic and Beauty. The universe did not fall short on its response to my request. After we ate our sandwiches and had a drink we went down in the water. Low and behold A GIANT TURTLE swam up to us and decided to hang out for a few hours. For some reason it was not afraid of us at all. It even went so far as to graze against our bellies and legs. This was the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me in my life. I was incredibly overwhelmed with awe of this magnificent giant creature. I couldn’t help but wonder how old he/she was and you couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, even if you tried. I am incredibly grateful for that once in a lifetime experience.
This evening, I played in the pool again, then showered, went for supper with some lovely people from BC and then I took some Hula dance lessons. I am now exhausted from lots of walking today and writing these snippets from my journal from my bed. Tomorrow is an exciting day. It is my 27th birthday and something called Saturn return. The day when Saturn will return to the very same place around the sun as It would have been on the very day that I first came out of the womb.
All my new friends got me a cake and sang me happy birthday today. I cried because I have never felt more loved and accepted in my life, and it was with perfect strangers.
The pool here is a nude pool and so is the local beach. I have been psyching myself up to go topless and it almost gives me a heart attack. I haven’t worked up the courage yet but I admire those that are able to go full tilt. They are so free. I am learning to get over myself and my insecurities. I’ve been praying for the support I need to overcome this.
And the opportunity came knocking … I figured no better time to wear your birthday suit than on your birthday! Today the owner challenged me to pose for a nude painting at an art gallery on the Big Island. I only had 10 minutes to say yes or no. He thought it was a great way to spend my birthday. I really didn’t want to do it but I felt that I would be missing on a once in a lifetime opportunity. I knew the universe was guiding me to experience this and I felt that there would be so much value in leaning into this uncomfortable. I came out of the womb naked, so I mise well spend today naked.
It was a brutal 40 degrees in the art studio. I had to sit in the same position for 2 straight hours. Everything hurt like hell. When I stood up my legs were so numb that I fell over. In that posing experience, something really significant and transcendental happened. I had a bunch of strangers studying every inch and detail of my body and it was in the moment I wondered why I could hate my body so much when others were admiring it and making art out of it. That was quite a mind altering experience for my brain and it really brought to light my beliefs about my body and myself. I started to relax and slowly put down shield and armor I had put up my whole life. I knew I would never be the same after this.
Since it was my birthday, a lot of the artists gave me their paintings and I was so grateful. Everyone wished me a happy birthday and hugged me (with clothes on) on my way out. At the last minute he said oh I almost forget, here! … and they handed me a couple hundred dollars. I was pleasantly surprised and they all said “WAIT!!!??? WHY DO YOU SEEM SUPRISED?! DID YOU NOT KNOW YOU WERE GETTING PAID FOR THIS? THE MODEL ALWAYS GETS PAID.” I was like “UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM NOOOOOOOOOOOO. HAHAH YOLO. I WAS JUST TRYING TO LEAN INTO DISCOMFORT AND ALLOW MYSELF A WILD EXPERIENCE THE UNIVERSE PRESENTED TO ME ON MY BIRTHDAY! So this money is just icing on the cake.”
I laughed silently to myself as I walked away because I prayed this morning for “a memorable birthday and for the universe to make me some money”. I guess you can say I got my wish. Just in an entirely unexpected fashion.
Obviously after this I had no more hang ups. I dove straight to the pool, this time bravely without my top! I felt so free.
Hawaii has been the most magical and monumental experience of my entire life. I have been given a glimpse of what my life could be and who I am destined to be if I would just choose it. I am committed to facing my deepest fears. My first lesson was vulnerability. And boy, did it strip me quite literally of everything.