BEING AUTHENTIC – LIVE YOUR DREAM LIFE

Living your best life can be difficult. I get it. I’ve been there. Depressed and miserable. Frustrated. Living a life with zero joy. Just going through the daily motions. Hiding who I really was.
Eventually I realized I deserved better and I HAD ENOUGH.
What I came to realize was that I’m lucky if I have 80 years to live. So why not live with intention and live on purpose by doing what I actually want to do?
The human condition is that we are so focused on a material world. We’re taught that its crucial to have a stable career with a pension and to suck it up even if you don’t enjoy it because that’s what has been passed down from generation to generation.
We strive for big cars, big houses and designer clothes. Some people come to materialize these things and then it turns out, they still aren’t happy. Shocking? Not really.
No one stops to think about what they really truly want. The fact of the matter is, deep down, no one really cares about any of those things. Hidden behind that mask is a person who wants to feel appreciated, accepted, etc.
By 80 years of age, no one cares about what you look like, the money in your bank account, the size of your house, your job title, if you married within your race and religion, especially when your hair is grey, your parents are gone, your face is wrinkly and your boobs are sagging. What people care about is your heart, your personality, your kindness, your happiness, the good you do for the world, for yourself you, for your family. What you’ll care about is the good relationships, the good experiences you’ve had, what you’ve learnt, built or accomplished, that you’ve served someone other than yourself, that you wake up everyday next to someone you love versus someone you want to punch in the face, that you spend time with your kids and you parented them and are proud of who they became, that you truly lived  and you were actually were HAPPY doing it all. So why don’t we think this way from 10-50? It makes no sense! Why don’t we learn to forgive, detach from drama, and find some humour and joy!? Making a big life change is scary, but you know what’s scarier? REGRET!
Living your dream life that is filled with joy and happiness takes effort, but eventually it becomes a lifestyle. If you asked me 5 years ago if I would openly be my authentic self and be honest about who I was/my interests/my thoughts/my lifestyle and not hide it anymore I wouldn’t have believed you.  I am free. I like me that way. I love spirituality, meditation, yoga, naturopaths, personal growth, self help books, nature, animals, psychic development, wellness courses, essential oils, smudging, reiki, bodytalk, talking about manifesting, intuition, I like a blend of Hinduism and Buddhism, Native American Beliefs and Spirituality and Christianity, I study the the universe and other not very openly discussed things. I care about the earth, about the homeless and about animals rights/feelings. I take huge risks and I DREAM BIG because I believe in myself and I believe in manifesting and I trust the universe/god. I believe in something bigger than myself. Because of that, I ALWAYS get what I want. I NEVER FAIL. If you don’t like who or how I am, then you don’t need to be in my life. That’s okay. You don’t like that I’ve “changed” well guess what I am who I have always been, its just that “the old me”, that was never really me! I’m who I’ve always been, just everyday I work to be a better version. I was just trying to fit into the mold of who everyone else wanted me to be. You’re gay or trans? then be gay or trans! you want an interracial relationship? do it! You want to be an artist instead of a lawyer? Wanna be Buddhist instead of Catholic? DO IT! AND OWN IT!
If you’d said I would own a wellness business, be healthy, own a house, own my dream car, be in love, be getting married, traveled, have 2 amazing dogs, have amazing like minded successful friends, be a vegetarian (still working on it), quit a high paying high profile career that I was damn good at but didn’t like? wake up excited and happy everyday? I literally would have laughed straight in your face! If you asked me ten years ago if I could lose 30 lbs, quit smoking, get rid of shitty friends, a shitty relationship, quit drinking, go to college, become a reiki, yoga teacher and bodytalk practitioner, have a healthy, happy, loving relationship, work on myself, heal my past and grow and change? Learn to speak and live my truth? Heck no, I would have laughed even harder…
What does it take to get what you want? A goal, a plan and accountability! You need to be clear about exactly what it is you want. Make a vision board or write it down and hide it. If you are unclear about what you want, the universe is going to give you unclear results. Think of it this way, if you go the bank to take out cash but you don’t know how much you want, the teller isn’t gonna give you anything. Am I right, or am I right?
You can literally do anything you put your mind to. Stop making excuses. Excuses are for people who don’t get results. Stop listening and giving into your fears! The same goes for the people in your life. If they are negative and discourage you, get rid of them! Set your boundaries. If these people are fearful of your goals, it says more about them than it does you. Their fears and opinions are an inner reflection of themselves. That’s cool, but you don’t need to take it on. If you have people who bring you down and make your life worse get rid of them. People should bring value and improve your life, not take from it and make it worse! The people in your circle/life determine your success. Who you surround yourself with is only as far as you will go in life. Want to be successful? Surround your self with people who are already successful. Want to have a healthy happy relationship? Surround your self with couples who mimic that and learn it from them. Need some serious courage, be friends with someone who is fearless.
Waiting for someone else or an outer circumstance to save you? Sorry, Not gonna happen! The most important person in your life should absolutely be you. The only person that can make you happy and make change is you. So why are you treating YOU like garbage? Why do you talk negative to yourself? Why do you accept bullshit from people in your life? Would you treat your kids or your mom that way? NO! How would you want them to live? Lead by example. Be in a healthy happy relationship, work a job you enjoy, find friends that treat you well and lift you up, save your money, want a nice body? Go to the damn gym and eat well. Want a job you love? Want to start a business? Want to leave an abusive relationship? Make a plan! Want a different career? Take a course? Make the steps to get there. Don’t listen to your ego/mind when it says how, who what, when? Trust the universe to take care of that for you. It will show you the steps as they are require if you JUST LISTEN. Just take baby steps. Every baby step is progress. Every baby step leads you to where you want to be! TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. Stop making excuses. Thoughts and actions are energy “where energy goes, energy flows!
Will you make mistakes? Absolutely. I do. Do I make the wrong choices sometimes? Absolutely. But we need to learn from them, move on and continue to grow and strive to be better. Use those lessons of what not to do, and do it better the next time around. Don’t beat yourself up, we are human. Life is all about learning.
But can you make this process easier? YES. Having an accountability partner. What is it that you want for yourself? Better body? Less anxiety? Healthier diet? Career that makes you happy? Pair up with someone who you can trust and who motivates you to be better. Each day you send each other a photo that you’ve completed your task! For example, make two goals for the day. What will lead to your best life? Taking a course, going to the gym, eating right, reading a book, doing yoga or meditation, and you send that person a screenshot of proof you did it/signed up for it/ made it etc, by 9pm. That partner then sends you their pictures/screenshots too!
Ex) send them of a picture of you at the gym, of your meal prepping, of your full pack of cigarettes (because you didn’t smoke) of your clean and organized closet, the first page of your business plan, your job search, your clean house! Anything! Baby steps people!
You can do it. I believe in you. You are worth it. You have all the tools.

When you can no longer avoid your triggers

Has everything and everyone has been triggering you lately? Can’t seem to escape it?  Well that’s because you can’t continue to ignore your triggers. You can’t run anymore. They are are in there deeply seated in the unconscious just waiting for you to tend to them so that they don’t manifest into something much worse.

So let’s take a look at this. Think of who or what has been triggering you lately. It is normal to play the “he/she made me feel this way” card and the “they shouldn’t have done that” game, but that only creates more pain. So why are you feeding pain with more pain? Sounds counter productive doesn’t it? Instead of shifting the blame onto that person or situation. Why don’t we look within instead?

The only reason we are being triggered is because there is something in us that wants to heal. What is causing us this pain or discomfort by this person is simply an opportunity for us to heal. THEY ARE JUST THE CATALYST. If we can shift our awareness from “they made me feel this way” instead to “why did I allow this persons behavior to disrupt my own inner peace?” “where does it come from in my past that is triggering me and what can I do to work on in myself?” “Why am I blaming them when I am truly responsible for my own thoughts and behaviors that make me feel this way?”, “How can I be a better person?” “How can I be a happier person consistently and not just when things are going my way?” “How can I retain my inner peace even when storms surround me?”

You might have to just grin and bear through it, but you might also be able to figure your way around it if you can just figure out why — and who the person is behind this process, and how to befriend them.

Instead of condemning these people who “hurt” us, what if we send them love for subconsciously helping us. Thank them for being a catalyst to our inner path of healing. They are not deliberately hurting us. People do not wake up every day looking to hurt others. That is our perception and may be a belief system. So if we shift our perception and send them love instead of condemning them, the hurt will go away. These scenarios might stop attracting into our lives. We have all hurt someone in our lives without even knowing it, simply by a word or an action and we don’t notice because it is not something that would have hurt us… but it hurts them because of their past experiences and beliefs. Most of the things that are happening are really happening around us in the background, to them, not to us. But we choose to believe they are happening to us. So we have a choice to let it go or hold on to it. Life is simple. Everything happens for you, not to you. Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late. We don’t have to like it… it’s just easier if we do. Most people’s reactions to obstacles are resistance, which leads to annoyance, frustration, despair, futility, or anger. Dig yourself out of that hole one shovel at a time, find your light again and let it shine like the marvelous you that you are!

We are all humans, all on the path to enlightenment, living and learning lessons along the way. We are all lost somewhere or another. None of us came with a manual. We all need to look at each other as brothers and sisters and have compassion for one another. Underneath our skin and ego we all have a heart, a higher self, and we all have blood running through our veins. We all need love patience and understanding as we figure out this thing called life and as we figure out how to be a better person each step of the way. Every single one of us has some form of a mountain to climb. We all face adversities, none worse than others, just different. What if we stop making it about “me” and treat others the way we would want to be treated back. If they are not loving you the way you would like, so what? Love them back even harder. They probably are struggling with their own self love. If you are not treated the way you would like to be treated, get honest with yourself and ask yourself how have I been treating others or even more importantly, how have I been treating myself? Have I been showing myself love and kindness and compassion or have I been to hard and unforgiving on myself?

Some people experience a lot of hurt at the beginning or their lives and some experience it here or there. We can’t discount what other people are going through because we will never understand the life that they are living because we are not in it. We are all acting and responding according to how we think we should be according to our circumstances. At the end of the day, there’s really no right or wrong. It’s just perception. We should always be doing WHAT IS BEST FOR US. If we don’t make ourselves a priority and forget to give ourselves the love we need, we will not have it in us to give to anyone else. At the end of the day we all just want the same things. We want to experience joy and peace. We want to love and be loved without walls. We all want to give and receive. We are all seeking our purpose in life. We all want to be happy. So why can’t we love one another and extend compassion, understanding and kindness? Why can’t we support and build each other up rather than condemn and compete and judge? We are all the same at the end of the day. We are one. We come from one consciousness, so we are just in fact hurting ourselves.

If someone is going through something we don’t understand, or someone is behaving in a way that we don’t like, we could instead try to understand why. Put our self in their shoes, in their situation. We do not know why they do the things they do because we have not lived the life they did. This is why we are all unique individuals. We all had a different life, different parents, different belief systems, different traumas, different things bring us joy, different things trigger our pain; some things trigger one person whereas another person might not even blink an eye to the same scenario. YOU are responsible for how you are feeling inside, no one else. That’s a really tough thing to come to terms with and we naturally want to resist it because its uncomfortable. If you are giving people your power, that’s on you, not them. Now were aware, but how do we shift it? Contain your energy, don’t give it away. When negative situations come up where you are feeling hurt, come back inside yourself. Breathe. Meditate. Go to yoga. Ask yourself why is this happening? What did this trigger inside of me from my past and how can I heal it? Then, you send that person love instead…because we are all just humans having a human existence, doing the best we can with what we know and the skills we have been given that have been passed down by past generations. Heal these things in yourself, love yourself, have compassion for yourself, and you will heal all the generations before you.

MEL
xox