Living your best life can be difficult. I get it. I’ve been there. Depressed and miserable. Frustrated. Living a life with zero joy. Just going through the daily motions. Hiding who I really was.
Eventually I realized I deserved better and I HAD ENOUGH.
What I came to realize was that I’m lucky if I have 80 years to live. So why not live with intention and live on purpose by doing what I actually want to do?
The human condition is that we are so focused on a material world. We’re taught that its crucial to have a stable career with a pension and to suck it up even if you don’t enjoy it because that’s what has been passed down from generation to generation.
We strive for big cars, big houses and designer clothes. Some people come to materialize these things and then it turns out, they still aren’t happy. Shocking? Not really.
No one stops to think about what they really truly want. The fact of the matter is, deep down, no one really cares about any of those things. Hidden behind that mask is a person who wants to feel appreciated, accepted, etc.
By 80 years of age, no one cares about what you look like, the money in your bank account, the size of your house, your job title, if you married within your race and religion, especially when your hair is grey, your parents are gone, your face is wrinkly and your boobs are sagging. What people care about is your heart, your personality, your kindness, your happiness, the good you do for the world, for yourself you, for your family. What you’ll care about is the good relationships, the good experiences you’ve had, what you’ve learnt, built or accomplished, that you’ve served someone other than yourself, that you wake up everyday next to someone you love versus someone you want to punch in the face, that you spend time with your kids and you parented them and are proud of who they became, that you truly lived and you were actually were HAPPY doing it all. So why don’t we think this way from 10-50? It makes no sense! Why don’t we learn to forgive, detach from drama, and find some humour and joy!? Making a big life change is scary, but you know what’s scarier? REGRET!
Living your dream life that is filled with joy and happiness takes effort, but eventually it becomes a lifestyle. If you asked me 5 years ago if I would openly be my authentic self and be honest about who I was/my interests/my thoughts/my lifestyle and not hide it anymore I wouldn’t have believed you. I am free. I like me that way. I love spirituality, meditation, yoga, naturopaths, personal growth, self help books, nature, animals, psychic development, wellness courses, essential oils, smudging, reiki, bodytalk, talking about manifesting, intuition, I like a blend of Hinduism and Buddhism, Native American Beliefs and Spirituality and Christianity, I study the the universe and other not very openly discussed things. I care about the earth, about the homeless and about animals rights/feelings. I take huge risks and I DREAM BIG because I believe in myself and I believe in manifesting and I trust the universe/god. I believe in something bigger than myself. Because of that, I ALWAYS get what I want. I NEVER FAIL. If you don’t like who or how I am, then you don’t need to be in my life. That’s okay. You don’t like that I’ve “changed” well guess what I am who I have always been, its just that “the old me”, that was never really me! I’m who I’ve always been, just everyday I work to be a better version. I was just trying to fit into the mold of who everyone else wanted me to be. You’re gay or trans? then be gay or trans! you want an interracial relationship? do it! You want to be an artist instead of a lawyer? Wanna be Buddhist instead of Catholic? DO IT! AND OWN IT!
If you’d said I would own a wellness business, be healthy, own a house, own my dream car, be in love, be getting married, traveled, have 2 amazing dogs, have amazing like minded successful friends, be a vegetarian (still working on it), quit a high paying high profile career that I was damn good at but didn’t like? wake up excited and happy everyday? I literally would have laughed straight in your face! If you asked me ten years ago if I could lose 30 lbs, quit smoking, get rid of shitty friends, a shitty relationship, quit drinking, go to college, become a reiki, yoga teacher and bodytalk practitioner, have a healthy, happy, loving relationship, work on myself, heal my past and grow and change? Learn to speak and live my truth? Heck no, I would have laughed even harder…
What does it take to get what you want? A goal, a plan and accountability! You need to be clear about exactly what it is you want. Make a vision board or write it down and hide it. If you are unclear about what you want, the universe is going to give you unclear results. Think of it this way, if you go the bank to take out cash but you don’t know how much you want, the teller isn’t gonna give you anything. Am I right, or am I right?
You can literally do anything you put your mind to. Stop making excuses. Excuses are for people who don’t get results. Stop listening and giving into your fears! The same goes for the people in your life. If they are negative and discourage you, get rid of them! Set your boundaries. If these people are fearful of your goals, it says more about them than it does you. Their fears and opinions are an inner reflection of themselves. That’s cool, but you don’t need to take it on. If you have people who bring you down and make your life worse get rid of them. People should bring value and improve your life, not take from it and make it worse! The people in your circle/life determine your success. Who you surround yourself with is only as far as you will go in life. Want to be successful? Surround your self with people who are already successful. Want to have a healthy happy relationship? Surround your self with couples who mimic that and learn it from them. Need some serious courage, be friends with someone who is fearless.
Waiting for someone else or an outer circumstance to save you? Sorry, Not gonna happen! The most important person in your life should absolutely be you. The only person that can make you happy and make change is you. So why are you treating YOU like garbage? Why do you talk negative to yourself? Why do you accept bullshit from people in your life? Would you treat your kids or your mom that way? NO! How would you want them to live? Lead by example. Be in a healthy happy relationship, work a job you enjoy, find friends that treat you well and lift you up, save your money, want a nice body? Go to the damn gym and eat well. Want a job you love? Want to start a business? Want to leave an abusive relationship? Make a plan! Want a different career? Take a course? Make the steps to get there. Don’t listen to your ego/mind when it says how, who what, when? Trust the universe to take care of that for you. It will show you the steps as they are require if you JUST LISTEN. Just take baby steps. Every baby step is progress. Every baby step leads you to where you want to be! TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR LIFE. Stop making excuses. Thoughts and actions are energy “where energy goes, energy flows!
Will you make mistakes? Absolutely. I do. Do I make the wrong choices sometimes? Absolutely. But we need to learn from them, move on and continue to grow and strive to be better. Use those lessons of what not to do, and do it better the next time around. Don’t beat yourself up, we are human. Life is all about learning.
But can you make this process easier? YES. Having an accountability partner. What is it that you want for yourself? Better body? Less anxiety? Healthier diet? Career that makes you happy? Pair up with someone who you can trust and who motivates you to be better. Each day you send each other a photo that you’ve completed your task! For example, make two goals for the day. What will lead to your best life? Taking a course, going to the gym, eating right, reading a book, doing yoga or meditation, and you send that person a screenshot of proof you did it/signed up for it/ made it etc, by 9pm. That partner then sends you their pictures/screenshots too!
Ex) send them of a picture of you at the gym, of your meal prepping, of your full pack of cigarettes (because you didn’t smoke) of your clean and organized closet, the first page of your business plan, your job search, your clean house! Anything! Baby steps people!
You can do it. I believe in you. You are worth it. You have all the tools.